so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
