Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
