So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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