sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
