the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
