Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
did you just send me my own nude
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
