I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
