i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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