Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
