watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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