Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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