And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i came on her dog
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
