i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
