we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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