So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
