I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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