Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
