Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
