dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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