i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the day after is always just damage control
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
