so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
