your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
