Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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