He told me they were just razor bumps!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
