on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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