one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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