New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
