The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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