3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
