good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
