I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
