I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize