yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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