bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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