Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
