This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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