don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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