I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
How external is "for external use only"?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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