the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
