So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
