the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
