u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
