what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
