so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
