You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
