Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I party with great urgency now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
