I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My bed smells like the plague
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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