call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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