how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
