Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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