he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
